Learning how to overcome fear of rejection is a critical part of reaching your goals pursuing your dreams.
Nobody enjoys asking for something and being told “no.” But rejection is an inevitable part of life for all of us, and is usually a good thing, even if we can’t see it at the time.
I’d like to give you some tips on how to overcome fear of rejection and achieve the success you deserve.
Fear of Rejection is Natural
For some, rejection may come if the form of not being picked for the team or don’t get the part in the play. Or when you don’t get the job or promotion you wanted, or your manuscript is turned down by a publisher, or you get laid off or fired.
It’s something that happens to absolutely everyone at some point. But for many people, rejection can feel like an attack on their value or self-worth.
Dealing with Rejection
When someone says “no” or gets turned down, they see it as a sign that they don’t deserve whatever it is they were hoping to achieve. They stop asking for what they want, because they don’t want to face the possibility of rejection again.
It’s Not a Good Fit at the Moment
When someone says “no”, it’s not about YOU. It’s entirely about THEM. It simply means that whatever you’re offering isn’t a good fit for them at this moment. It doesn’t mean you won’t be a good fit for them in the future.
And that’s a really good thing for you to know! Because it frees you up to spend your time and energy pursuing other opportunities that will give you the results you seek.
Fail Occasionally to Succeed
Learning how to overcome fear of rejection and failing occasionally can also be an extremely valuable source of information that will help you achieve your goals faster.
For example, if you apply for a promotion but don’t get it, it’s an excellent opportunity for you to follow up with the hiring manager to discover where your application was lacking — so you can acquire the necessary skills and experience that will make you a better candidate for that role in the future.
It’s also important to remember that rejection doesn’t make your life worse in any way.
You’ve Got Nothing to Lose
If you apply for a job but don’t receive it, you haven’t lost anything. Your situation has remained exactly as it was before the interview. Same goes if you ask someone out on a date and they say “no.” You didn’t have a date before you asked. So what does it matter if you don’t have a date after you ask?
The truth is, you never have anything to lose by asking. And there is the possibility that someone might say “yes” — so you may as well take the chance to ask! At the very least, you may discover some information that will make it easier for you to get a “yes” in the future.
“Yes” is Waiting for You
If you ever find yourself wondering how to overcome fear of rejection, I want you to remember this mantra: “some will, some won’t; so what— someone’s waiting.”
Some people are going to say “yes”, and some are going to say “no.” So what! Someone is out there waiting for you and your ideas. It is simply a numbers game.
You have to keep asking until you get a “yes.” The “yes” is out there waiting for you. But you’ll never find it if you don’t keep putting yourself out there and asking for it.
Take Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame, for example. When he left home with his pressure cooker and his special recipe for cooking Southern fried chicken, he received 1,009 rejections before he found someone to believe in his dream.
He overcame that rejection over 1,000 times, and now there are now 18,875 KFC outlets in 118 countries and territories around the world.
How about Rick Little? When he was just 19 years old, he wanted to start a program in high schools that would teach kids how to handle conflict, clarify their life goals, and learn important communication skills that would help them live more effective and fulfilling lives. So he wrote a proposal and shopped it to over 155 foundations, who all said “no.”
He slept in the back of his car and ate peanut butter on crackers for the better part of a year, hoping for a “yes.” But he overcame his fear of rejection. Eventually, the Kellogg Foundation gave Rick $130,000 to start his program. That’s almost $1,000 for every “no” he experienced!
Since then, Rick and his team have raised over $100 million to implement his Quest program in 36 languages and more than 30,000 schools in 80 countries around the world. Three million kids per year are being taught important life skills because one 19-year-old kept on going until he got a “yes.”
Keep on Asking When You Feel Like Giving Up
So when someone says “no”, you say, “next!” Keep on asking. Overcome that rejection.
Remember, there are over 7 billion people on the planet. Someone, somewhere, sometime will say “yes.” Don’t let your fear of rejection stop you from finding them!
Practice Overcoming Your Fear of Rejection
I challenge you to overcome your fear of rejection and ask someone for something. Make it something that requires a risk on your part and makes you feel a bit nervous. Remember to remain unattached to the outcome.
It doesn’t matter if they say “yes” or “no” – the important part is that you overcame your fear of rejection and asked anyway. Because every time you face your fears, it will become easier and easier, until you’re not afraid to ask for anything at all! Imagine how liberating that will be — and how much you’ll be able to accomplish.
Learn how to overcome fear of rejection and achieve the success you deserve with my Positive Thinking Guide.